9650.) i'm becoming more like you everday and it scares me. not because im afraid to be you im scared of how much you mean to me. it scares me to know that one day there will be a me and you and that one day im going to be the one that everyone hates. but you know what? im ready for it. and thats the part that scares me.
^ it’s like whoever posted this and I are one in the same.
“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?”—
are eating me alive. I can’t concentrate. They just keep going and going and I feel helpless. And I know no one wants to hear about all my shit, so all I can do is think. My head hurts. I really need some green.
9431.) For even one day I wish I could be somebody else. Because then maybe people would notice me. Because then I could start over and live life the way I want to. Because maybe I could stop hating myself.
This is me:
Ugly, Stupid, Weird, Annoying, Not funny, Awkward, Never serious, Have weird hands, Have a weird body, Have a self-absorbed family that seriously doesn’t care in the least, Unappreciated, Think too much, Pessimistic, Annoying, Stopped having any hope for people a long time ago, Clumsy, Hated, Always look rough, People-smart, Annoying, I do everything on impulse, I talk too much, Sometimes I don’t talk at all, Obnoxious, Ridiculous, Definitely mistreated, Laugh too much, Laugh at all the wrong times, I believe no one, not even myself, I don’t ever eat, Insomniac, Sociopath, Talk about myself too much, Scared of being called narcissistic, I want a baby, Annoying, I talk weird, I suck at anything school related, I have no motivation for anything, I like meeting new people but try to keep everything on an acquaintance-basis because everyone that gets to know me doesn’t like me. That’s me. I’m done. Whatever.
For real. I don’t want to go to school. I haaate it.
I don’t even have anything to wear. I’m actually thinking
about wearing sweatpants, but haha, I don’t know.
That be a really funny way to start out the school year,
with an “I don’t give a fuck” persona.
I miss my best friends.
I miss this summer before August.
I miss the way my house used to be.
I miss the way my mom used to be.
I definitely miss being a little kid.
I miss where I used to live.
I miss not being grounded every other week.
I miss the times when I thought everything would work out perfect,
and the times when I didn’t even have to think at all.
I miss not yelling everyday.
I miss not worrying.
I miss when people actually didn’t like me until they got to know me,
instead of the other way around.
I miss when everyone trusted me.
I miss being in Austin.
I miss my pictures that got deleted off my computer, as well as my music.
I miss when I thought I would never get into drugs.
I miss you.